Mental Health Support

One of the most common questions I've been asked as a psoriasis warrior is: "Does it hurt?" This shouldn't really come as a surprise since we associate skin that is noticeably red, raised and dry with physical discomfort: scars, scabs, swellings and other such afflictions can all be sources of pain.

Overall, while I haven't experienced any soreness caused by my psoriasis simply being there, the marks on my torso were often itchy in the early stages of my healing journey. I avoided the urge to scratch during the daytime, but that didn't stop my sleepy, semi-conscious self from clawing away at them in bed. I sometimes woke up in the middle of the night with inflamed and incredibly aggravated patches.

That being said, it's the visibility of this autoimmune disease that has affected me the most. In turn, this had a considerable knock-on effect on my mental wellbeing. In March 2022, I was experiencing my "I give up" phase, refusing to use steroid creams anymore and watching in despair as psoriasis spread to every inch of my body. I shut myself away- but there were still times when I had to venture outside.

It's no wonder that we feel the need to shut ourselves away from the world when psoriasis flares up.

As if children staring away in supermarkets wasn't bad enough, a shopkeeper straight up asked me if I "have a disease".

I couldn't leave the flat without people noticing my problem skin in public- and commenting on it.

After this, I began to feel the need to "explain" my appearance to people. Being forced to address it made it sound like I was apologising for my condition. This coupled with feeling sexually unattractive and therefore abandoning my dating life, looking in the mirror, thinking "I'm going to look like this forever" as well as not socialising made me miserable.

We had just experienced two years of international lockdowns- yet here I was, entering my own personal isolation. Now, I'm not saying people with top-to-toe psoriasis should avoid doing this: I think it's perfectly understandable. However, looking after your mental health during a time of self-seclusion is paramount.

My first project was, of course, preparing a battle plan in a bid to overcome it. I put hours and hours into guttate psoriasis research, learning how I could attack it at every angle: the anti-inflammatory diet, the natural moisturisers and the supplements. I then built this blog in the hope that others going through the same would benefit from my findings, and use some "hibernation" time to kick start their healing journey- just like I did.

As well as this, I took it easy with some gaming, read quite a bit and spent quality time with family back in my home town. My dad used to work as a chef: he was more than happy to whip up superfood dishes and try out healthy recipes with me.

Being a creative person, I also put my mind to work on a media-based project, watching hundreds of films to eventually produce an LGBTQ+ film scratch poster.

 During my psoriasis-induced period of solitude, I occupied myself with creative work, setting up PridePosterStudios, and have this wonderful poster to show for it!

When progress bloomed, I regained confidence and started to share my story. This, however, led to another (albeit milder) blow to the mental health. My hard work was being denounced as fake.

It is hurtful to be accused of making up my long, arduous journey to clearer skin. 

In response to the commenter above, it goes without saying that I was not born covered in psoriasis. I've not lived my entire life like this. While a clear-cut cause has not yet been fully established, it is generally accepted that guttate psoriasis is triggered by something.

Questioning someone's skin-healing efforts is unkind, but I do understand the scepticism. A period of research would not go by without me coming across an extortionately-priced product, described as a psoriasis-curing "miracle". I have experienced first hand the desperation to find something- anything- to treat it. So, it's no surprise that people seek to exploit us, persuading sufferers in despair to part with their money for a "miracle cure". I repeat these terms because, wherever I see them, I instantly stop investigating whatever it is being advertised. At the time of writing, there is no cure for psoriasis, and one remedy alone is simply not enough to moderate our imbalanced immune system. 

The above comment on my personal Instagram page was uncalled for. As was this:

Simply ignorant!

Before, during and after, the impact of psoriasis on our psychological and emotional well-being can be devastating. Frustration, helplessness, fear, sadness, loneliness, resentment and jealousy are all very real feelings it causes: trust me, I've been there. What I want fellow warriors to know is this:

You're not alone.

I am still looking at the more stubborn patches on my skin and wishing them away. They continue to get me down at times. Just as my body is healing, so is my mind. Family and friends can only say and do so much to support us, but they're not having to deal with this bizarre, unsightly condition. I may be a stranger to you, but please take solace in my words: you can get this under control. You can conquer your psoriasis. You can win. 

Compare this picture to the one at the top- they're a little over six months apart.

It's always good to talk: I'm around on Instagram, and the Psoriasis Association is an invaluable forum where you can read about other people's experiences- or post about your own. They also provide a confidential helpline. The NHS has 24-hour mental health helplines, and Mental Health Innovations offer a text support service.